One year. One year, a MA in International Relations, 10 countries, new friends, and some amazing memories.
One year in Dublin has felt like a blink of an eye. I have spent months traveling, learning, and loving. I got off the plane looking for something, anything to validate my existence and my journey. I will be getting on the plane home having found everything I needed and more.
A year ago, I packed everything I own, sold my car, threw anything that couldn't fit in three suitcases in storage, and said my goodbyes.
A year ago, I was lost. Graduated college early, looking for anything to prolong the inevitable of adulthood and a 9-5. Still testing my limits, finding my footing, and figuring out who I was and who I wanted to be.
A year ago, I was terrified. I was looking real life in the face and all I wanted to do was turn and run. Terrified of my life having met its peak at 21. Terrified of stagnation, mediocrity, and boredom.
A year ago, I made one of the best choices in my life. I made the choice to dive head first into a dark pool, with absolutely no idea what could be at the bottom. So many fears accompanied my choice to move 5,000 miles away to a foreign country, where I didn't know a single soul. Fears of loneliness, danger, insignificance, and insecurity.
Instead of any of that, I found happiness. I found happiness, fulfillment, love, belonging, and safety.
I leave Dublin with more friends, more lovely people then I could imagine in a million years. I have been met with more love and kindness in this last year then one could hope for in a lifetime.
My life feels like a movie. As a child I used to dream about a beautiful future, one I never thought I would live. The life I live is one that surpasses anything I could have ever dreamed of doing. Instead of a dream, this is my life.This is the life I have fought and struggled for. I could burst I am so filled with happiness. Happiness and pride.
The only reason I can feel like this, the only reason the journey has been so sweet this far, is because of the love i am constantly surrounded with.
I am thankful for the love and support of my amazing family. For supporting me, for believing in me, and for loving me. Through the best of times and the worst of times.
I am thankful for my old friends. The ones who have loved me and been there for me for years.
I am thankful for my new friends. The ones who have filled gaps in my life I wasn’t aware I even had. I will cherish you all until the end of my days, and I hope to see you someday soon.
Goodbye Dublin, my sweet and beautiful old city. The old city that comes alive when the lights go down. The old city that sparkles with ambition. The old city that is still dreaming, still progressing. So much heart can be found in this beautiful town. I will miss so much about you. I will miss stink of Guinness that seems to chase you down the river. I will miss the rain, that never comes when you want it but only when you need it. The circus that the streets become after dark. The feeling of escaping the bitter cold by ducking into a warm pub. The running into someone you know, every time you leave your house. The beautiful coast. The rotting air of the liffey. The nights spent dancing and laughing surrounded by friends. The roar of tourists in my courtyard going into the old Jameson Distillery. The greasy and delicious chipper food. The unreliability of the public transportation. The character of the cab drivers.The stupid Spire. The history. The architecture. The people. The love.
Just. Everything.
I found myself. I have never been happier, felt better about myself, felt more loved or fulfilled, then I do now. I hope to carry this feeling with me until the day I die.
When I die, Dublin will be written on my heart.
For the last time
From Dublin, With Love
Olivia Stapp
No comments:
Post a Comment